Anyone but You
by toolezbionic
Summary: Ellie needs to find a way to deal with the consequences of her actions and find out which friends will stand by her. CRELLIE, Spellie friendship SET SEASON FIVE
1. Part Time Lover

A/N: Okay, this has be circulating in my head for a long time now and I finally decided to post it. Not sure how good it is. Just know that I got this idea from a podcast that Stacey Farber was on and she said that she could have gotten the part as Juno. Juno was also loosely based off of Ellie, so of course I had to give you this.

Chapter one

Full time friend

Ellie stood there and stared at the rather beaten up drum set sitting in her front yard like it was some big lawn ornament. So many emotions coursed through her body that the only way she could keep them at bay were to snap at her colorful friend, Mr. Rubber band, until the skin underneath her bunched up fishnet turned red and puffy. There was only one reason as to why this instrument captivated her so completely. One memory in the back of her mind that kept replaying itself over and over. Why did this drum set have to be so wonderful? Not just wonderful, but the most magnificent thing she had ever seen?

"_Ellie. Do you want me?_" _He whispered, as he leaned over Ellie sitting at her drums._

_She let the buzz of alcohol in her brain make the regretted mistake of giving the simple one word answer. _"_Yes._"

_And just like that she dropped her drumsticks on either side of her as he took hold of her face and kissed her with everything he had._

Allowing her eyes to break contact with the memory in front of her she bent over to pick up the two liter bottle of "Orange Crush" soda, chugged down the remaining forth of it, and sloppily wiped off the spilled droplets from her mouth. It was almost like it was supposed to wash away the remaining guilt she had that followed that night, but of course it hadn't. It still ate her up inside and she didn't know what to do about it. It wasn't enough that she was probably already suffering the big consequences from fantastic sex within her very belly. She was two weeks late with her period and that night happened to work perfectly into her little time table.

"Shit." She exclaimed silently as she continued to abuse her wrist with the rubber band. And then she came to a realization of what she had to do. "Hey mom!" She called into the house like a crazy person.

"Yes Ellie?" She knew that her mother wouldn't bother come outside to talk to her face. Just like she wouldn't go inside either. Apparently they didn't really care of what their quiet neighbors thought.

"I am walking over to the store. Is that alright? Do you need anything?"

"No I don't need anything, but did you take that old drum set out of my basement like I asked?"

"Yes." She yelled back and leaving out the fact that it was now being used as a neighborhood eye sore in their lawn.

"Well, then I guess that it's all right with me. Be back for dinner."

"I will." She concluded the conversation with her mother before taking one last look at the monumental sight before her. She was absolutely convinced that it would make music again. All Ellie needed to do was find a place to stash it. But that was a job to be saved for another day. Right now she had to find out if she was for sure in the predicament that she thought she was in.

Ellie hated the fact that she might become a statistic. Another teenage girl making the wrong choice at the wrong time and leaving a baby brewing in her stomach. She had always thought that she wouldn't ever allow herself to be so foolish, so incautious. But of course after trying to further herself from anymore drama than she already had in her life she goes and pulls something like this. Ellie was in danger of becoming a girl that she never thought she would be. A teenaged mom, and she let it happen.

The walk down Stillwater road was chilly and bitter as the wind swept in the new autumn into Toronto. The smell of the falling leaves brought her back to a time when she herself was little and didn't even know where a baby came from. Her father would hoist her up onto his shoulders and walk the whole mile it took to get to the apple orchard. To her, at age six, a mile seemed like a whole different country and the fact that her father could carry her that far was amazing. Back then minutes seemed like hours, apples tasted like candy, and songs lasted forever. She was so optimistic and lively. Ellie had and eternity to do whatever she wanted and nothing was going to hold her back.

'So much for that.' She thought as she rounded the corner of town and realized that the last ten minutes had completely brushed past her. Ellie stood and looked straight up at the sign above a pair of glass doors to it's entrance. The sign red 'Pharmacy' in bold blue letters and she almost had to force herself to walk in, but that wasn't hard with the whole thing of soda bottle resting in her bladder.

With the huge urge to burst in front of all the customers she made her way all the way into the store and ran past several isles until she reached the one with the desired product. It didn't take her long to find the section of shelves filled with pregnancy tests, but she found herself too indecisive when it came to picking from all the different kinds they had. How was she supposed to know which one was the best? It wasn't like she was one of those girls who think they are pregnant, like, every month. Ellie Nash had never done this before.

Practically needing to cross her legs to keep from pissing her pants Ellie finally just chose the one with the digital reader and threw three of them in one of the baskets near the end of the isle. As she hastily approached the counter her eyes snapped open as they caught sight of a familiar face.

"Spinner? Hey!" she said cheerily, trying to cover up the 'oh shit' sound in her voice. "What are you doing working here? What happened to the dot?"

"They kept cutting back a bunch on my hours, so I dropped it and got a job here." Spinner stood there confused as she seemed to just stare at him in silence. After what seemed like an hour he finally asked "Is there something you need to buy? Or did you just want to...stand there?"

It is definitely fair to say that Ellie hesitated to put the possibility that she was pregnant up on the counter for Spinner to see. She hasn't told anybody about this yet, not even Marco, and she probably never would anyway.

"If it's woman stuff, then you don't have to be embaressed or anything. I have a kid sister, so there is little that I can be grossed out with when it comes to that stuff."

She didn't know what to do. I was obvious that she was there for something besides talking to Spinner and she didn't want to leave without getting what she came for. Quickly, she considered what would happen if he found out. With everything that happened last year and how few friends he has now there wasn't many ways that he could spread the news. Plus, it wasn't like people would believe him anyway. So then Ellie thought 'I might as well' and placed the tests up on the counter and watched his eyes widen slightly.

"ummmmm..." She could tell that he was trying hard to not let himself be affected by what was laid in front of him and she was thankful for it. After scanning the merchandise he said "That will be $27.50."

Ellie dug in her back pocket to find the money and handed him thirty dollars. "Hey, do you have a bathroom in this place?" Normally, she would just wait until she got home, but seeing how she was in no way able to make it before she burst she figured that she really didn't have a choice. Besides, she thought that in some weird way it might be comforting to know that someone she knew was going to be there with her when she found out.

"Yeah, but it's only an employee bathroom in the back." He said while handing her her change. "But I don't think that it would be a problem if I let you use it." Spinner tool off the lanyard with the key from around his neck and gave it to her, along with the tests. " The bathroom is just right in the back next to where the cough medicen is located."

"Thanks Spin." She offered him a genuine smile before turning around and headed towards where he directed.

After unlocking the door and walking in she immediatly felt uncomfortable with the smallness of the room and the feeling that the walls were closing in on her, but she still shut the door behind her. Ripping open the package of her first test she read the instructions printed on the back. It seemed easy enough to do when they wrote it out the way they did. They say it so scientifically and in the 'matter of fact' sort of way. They make it seem like there are no strings to whatever answer they give you and that you would have no stomaches in the three minutes it took to get the results. She thought that it probably would be smart for them to provide her with a tiny bottle of pepto. She hasn't even taken the stick out of the box yet and she already felt like she had the wind knocked out of her. Easy enough to do, indeed.

After following the first few steps she realized that it was time to start the clock on her watch for three minutes. She watched closely as the seconds shifted into higher and higher numbers and the mili-seconds rolled by so fast that she couldn't even make out what they read. But no matter how fast things flashed on her watch the tension in her throat began to stretch ever so slowly, making this process last forever. When Ellie only got to only 90 more second, she just couldn't take it anymore, so she gathered all her belongings and paced briskly out of the bathroom and went back up to Spinner.

"So? You got your answer yet?" He asked awkwardly, hoping that he wasn't stepping too far in asking the question.

"Nope. Not yet. I got about another minute left." The both of them felt the tension arise as Ellie just stood there again, letting him in on her little secret. She didn't exactly know why she was allowing him to share this nerve wracking experience with her, but she figured that it had to do something with the fact that she couldn't do this alone and there was anyone else around for her. Marco was still in Africa, she felt to guilty to share this with Ashley (even if she wasn't still in London), and lord knows that she couldn't let Craig ever know about this.

One thing that was appealing in the fact that it was Spinner she was confiding in was that she knew that he would never risk passing judgment on her. This was probably the first sign of trust that he would receive since the shooting and she knew that he couldn't allow himself to blow it all up again.

"25 seconds now." She laid the test back on the counter, not looking at it since she couldn't pry her eyes from her watch. Spinner, however, was staring intently on where the plus or negative sign was supposed to be displayed.

It seemed like as the time grew closer to the conclusion of their three minute wait, the seconds seemed ten times longer. It was like the clock was mocking and tormenting her as pay back for her mistake. But then the agonization was over and she saw the dreaded plus sign develop on the plastic stick. Ellie picked it up and examined it more closely.

"What does the plus sign mean?"

Ellie rolled her eyes. "It means the test is positive. I'm pregnant. Damn it." She sighed deeply.

"So what are you going to do? Who's the father?" Spinner realized that he took it a bit to far when he received a death glare from her. "Sorry, none of my business."

"Yeah well, it doesn't really matter who the father is anyway. He isn't ever going to know about it."

Spinner was taken aback in confusion. "I don't get it. I think the guy would eventually get that you are pregnant."

"Don't worry yourself about that, Spinner. I am going to take care of it." She said quietly and he could sense a bit of sadness in her voice.

"I don't think that you have to worry yourself over that too much just yet. You still have two more tests to take." Just then Spinner grabbed something from the side of the counter and passed it over to her. "Here, have a free licorice rope." He knew that it was absurd, but she took it anyway with a small smile on her face.

"Thanks a lot, Spin." Ellie nodded. "See you at school." She added before turning around and exiting the store.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ellie didn't touch her dinner that night and she knew, by the wrinkled up look on her face, that her mother was annoyed with her. She didn't know if it was the anxiety or the morning sickness (just because it is call morning sickness doesn't mean that it can't happen all damn day.), but she could help but feel the gag reflex building up in her throat. Every bite she took stirred in her chest and threatened to empty her entire body of it's nutrience.

"Can I be excused?" She cringed at the smell of her chicken dinner.

"I told you to be home in time for dinner. You would think that would be a clue that I expected you to actually eat it. She said flatly.

Ellie grabbed her stomach for effect "I know. I just don't feel very well all of a sudden."

Mrs. Nash let her face soften with concern over her daughter's health. "What do you think it is? Do you have a fever?"

"No. I think that I am just nervous about school tomorrow." It wasn't a _total _lie. She really was nervous about seeing everyone again, namely Craig. They had no idea what was going on and the chance that it would ever get out was just terrifying.

"Senior year can be pretty stressful, but I know that you will do fine, so you can calm yourself about it." She said the last part like it was a fact, like it was easy.

"Maybe you're right. So, can I be excused?"

"Sure. And I will put your plate in the fridge incase you decide that you are hungry after all.

"Thanks." Ellie said while slowly standing up and making her way out of the kitchen and down the hall to where her room was located.

When she walked into her bedroom she plopped down on her bed and laid down, not even bothering to turn on the light. Her sight wasn't lost in complete darkness sint the sun had yet to set fully and casted amber beams into the space surrounding her, leaking through the openings of the blinds placed over the window. The absent of noise made her unsettled as she let herself be alone with the flutter she almost felt under her abdomen. Ellie then reached up and turned on the radio on the shelf next to her bed and all she heard were commercials on her favorite station. It didn't really matter. At least it was sound.

Even though they were thrown away in the trash can, out of her sight, the two extra positive tests she took as soon as she got home stuck to her brain like a leech and she couldn't stop imagining that stupid plus sign. It wasn't like she was all that surprised. Ellie knew her body and it was easy to tell that there was something seriously different about it, but just having it confirmed struck her like a knife in the middle of her matter what she chose to do now here life would be different forever.

Ellie thought that she had already made her decision a couple of hours ago. She would make an appointment at the women's clinic and miss the first day of school tomorrow in hopes that she could just forget that the whole thing ever happened. Now that she laid in her dark room she found a hand tracing over her stomach, just naturally. A life was growing inside of her and she knew that she wouldn't be able to forget about that. Pieces of her were merging with pieces of Craig, a guy that she was beginning to have beautiful feelings for, and it was all making a tiny person. Ellie thought about what it could look like. Soft curly red locks framing a face with chocolate brown eyes.

The more she thought about it the more the baby started to take a physical form instead of just a consequence of her mistake. She knew that she couldn't go through with an abortion after realizing that. Someone would want to raise this child, even if it wasn't her and how could she deny them, or the baby that chance? And in a way she figured that this would put more of a meaning on hastily losing her virginity.

So now she had made her decision, once and for all. She was going to stay pregnant and put up the baby for adoption. Of course this meant getting big and fat and people would be able to tell. She would also have to tell Craig that it is his. That didn't appeal to her at all, but she knew that she knew that some how she had to find a way.


	2. Full Time Friend pt1

A/N: Okay, so now that I have a little more time to write a better author's note I will kind of explain this story a little more. I got the inspiration through the interview with Stacey Farber about how she auditioned for Juno. It was a pretty interesting podcast so you should definitely check it out. This doesn't full on go the same route as the movie did, I have made a lot of changes since this IS a different character with a different setting and different situations. Also, you will see a lot of things that happened in season five happen in this story too. I guess you can take that as a hint that Ellie won't be the only pregnant student at Degrassi. But of course there still be some major changes in this version of season five. Hope I didn't reveal too much. This chapter is split into to parts because it started to get really long.

Also, I want to apologize for the bad grammar and all of that in the first chapter. I didn't get much of a chance to go back and correct things. If anyone wants to beta this for me, that would be great.

**Chapter 2**

**Full-time friend pt. 1**

Ellie always thought that the first day back at school had felt weird to her. One day you would be vegging out on the couch with a friend talking about how much of a bore your History teacher is and then the next thing you know you are sitting in a badly lit classroom nodding off to one of his lectures. You remember how you were on the last day of school in your Junior year and come to realize how only one summer had completely changed you.

The summer between nine and ten consisted of less make-up/crazy hair and more time letting people get to know her. The following summer she was adjusting to the fact that she had her first (straight) boyfriend. Yeah, both of those summers didn't seem to be that eventful to her now when before she thought that they were life changing. Now she would return to school knowing that a few months from now everyone would be staring at her stomach rather than her eyes and spread rumors about her all over campus. People she didn't even know would be talking about it.

She went into the school building and took a second to look at all of the students walking past her. No one knew yet. She was just that sarcastic goth girl that most people tried to avoid. As of right now she didn't concern any of them. Not wanting to face the world right now Ellie turned around and walked right back outside to get fifteen minutes of fresh air before first period started. When she walked down the front steps she spotted Spinner again upon turning. Normally the urge to go and sit by him wouldn't occur to her, but he just looked so alone. Plus he was the only one to know about her, so she wasn't going to have a conversation that was one big lie. She might as well see what kind of effect her condition had on him.

"Hey Spin." She said as she stuffed her hands into her pockets and casually walked over to him. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just hanging out here before I have to go inside and deal with everybody who hates my guts." Spinner didn't even look up. He just kept his head to the ground while his forehead beaded with sweat.

"Same here." She replied and sat down next to him, a light and comforting smirk pulling at the side of her mouth. "Well, in my case they don't exactly know that they hate me yet."

After hearing her say that he tore his gaze away from the sidewalk and brought it up to her. "Look, if you think that I told people about you then you don't have to worry. I'm keepin' my mouth shut."

"Thanks, but that's not why I came over here."

Shocked that she actually seemed to want to talk to him he could only mutter "Why, then, would you want to have anything to do with me?"

"Well, basically to say thanks which I guess I have already accomplished. Plus, talking to any of my other friends just doesn't seem right."

"Are you saying that I'm a friend?" He asked with an eyebrow raised.

"The fact that I trust you says something, I guess." They had another one of their awkward quiet moment's after she said that until Spinner decided to break the silence.

"I figured that you wouldn't show up today. What's the deal? You change your mind?"

Ellie sighed. "Yeah, I thought about it and decided that I don't think I would be able to go through with it."

"Dude, that's- that's awesome."

"How is being a pregnant teenager awesome, Spin?" She whispered.

"No, I mean like having the courage to do something like that, giving the kid a chance and stuff. It's really cool of you."

"I don't think that I am going to feel very cool when I am shunned like you were. That and the constant back pains."

"But, you will probably still have Marco and Ash, right? And I thought that I saw you hanging out with Craig a bunch at 'The Dot'?"

"Yeah, I would probably have Marco when he gets back, but Ashley and Craig are a different story." She said sadly.

"Why? Aren't you and Ash like best buds or something? And Craig doesn't seem the type to- wait a second, Craig. Ellie is Craig..." His eyes widened in realization to the situation.

Here it was. The other piece of truth that she had been dreading since the night she slept with him. The conflicted feelings churning in her stomach every waking moment dragging her in two directions. Her conscience in the form of an embryo pulling in one direction and her selfish heart pulling in the other. "Yeah, he is. So, you can see why Ashley wouldn't want to have anything to do with me when this gets out."

"Man, Craig must have some freaky hyper sperm or something. Knocking up two chicks in three years?"

Not wanting to show the slightest sign of amusement to that statement, Ellie rolled her eyes. "And the fact that Ashley was his current girlfriend both times doesn't really help the situation."

"No, I guess it doesn't." He said before looking up and saw the guys he was dreading to see. "Hey, umm you probably shouldn't be seen talking to me. It would probably only make matters worse for you." he jerked his head telling her where to look.

"You know what? I don't Care." She said while watching Jimmy roll up to the school with Craig walking and talking at his side. "It'll be practice for the other rumors that are going to be started about me. Don't worry about it."

Ellie thought about it and realized that she could really enjoy having Spinner as a friend. Apart from most, she never really blamed him for the shooting. She only ever held grudges on girls anyway. He was being so understanding and not judgmental when this school was known to high light your mistakes and make them ten times worse. Sure she would have to deal with crude jokes and hearing the word 'dude' a lot, but that didn't change the fact that they would both need a friend. She just saw the fear in his eyes so similar to her own when it came to wanting to survive this year.

She took one last look at Jimmy and Craig and noticed they had stopped so they could greet a few people they hadn't seen much over the summer. Ellie could tell that Craig had seen her. The awkwardness of his hand being pulled back to rub the back of his neck spoke in volumes to her. She was sure that she was the only one to know that gesture as the one he used while desperately trying to avoid something. It could be for unwanted feelings or uncomfortable interactions, but the fact was he had used it on her all summer. Then her guesses were confirmed when she caught a quick sideways glance in her direction.

*~*~*~*~*

"Craig, could you explain to me why Ellie is talking to that Jackass?" Jimmy asked annoyed with a hint of anger.

Craig turned his attention on the pair sitting near the entrance, pretending like it was the first time he saw them. "No idea. What do you think that's about?"

"I don't know, but they do look friendly. God, I can't believe that they let him back in this school. How is Degrassi suppose to ever get better when a dirt bag like him is going around and convincing our few decent girls that he is some kind of saint. I really hate that guy."

"Come on, do you not know Ellie? I don't think that he will be able to convince her of anything." He shook his head, but knew that what people thought of her wasn't entirely true. He knew first hand that her exterior was definitely more fragile then you expect after you first hear her fierce sarcastic wit. But, Jimmy didn't need to know that. He could keep a subtle look out for her himself without letting anyone notice that he could eventually grow a tad jealous.

"Maybe you should talk to her and set her straight. We don't want her to get mixed up with any of his crap." Jimmy suggested.

"And have her bite my head off? I don't thinks so. Besides, it's not like she would share any of the details about it with me. We haven't really talked in about a month."

"Oh yeah, what went wrong there? By the looks of it you two seemed to be getting pretty tight."

"Long story. I guess you could say that just proves that she doesn't take crap from people. Say or do one bad thing and she will give you that icy cold shoulder she's so good at." Craig had to admit that he was hurt when she wouldn't talk to him. It wasn't like he himself did anything wrong. Sure, the whole thing put together wasn't right, but she was just as guilty as he was. Craig had asked her flat out if it was okay for him to keep going and she said yes without hesitation.

Craig got use to seeing Ellie around a lot and had come to enjoy spending time with her. They knew all along that they had something in common, two people with a history of suffocating parent problems that affected them in a way nothing else could. They also both had to live the summer without the person they were closest too. It was nice to have someone around who really understood the feeling of helplessness and how you can never control your emotions no matter how hard you try.

Being in group therapy with her helped him learn that you don't really know the true meaning of someone's issues until you make that strong personal connection with them that allows you to see everything clearly, words were not enough. Before, he just knew of some of the events in her life and what she did to herself as a result. The past few months they got to see them selves in each other and used that to form a kind of a relationship he had never had before. He now understood exactly what she got out of her cutting. It was a way to put all of her pain in one specific part of her body where it is easily controlled and kept her distracted from everything else that hurt in her life. Even though he had friendships that had lasted longer then theirs did he thought that he couldn't know anyone better. Now _she_ was that _one _person. The person where no one else could affect him the way that she herself could and the fact that she wasn't speaking to him scared Craig. What had he lost? Honestly, he didn't know, but he certainly felt something important missing in his life.

~*~*~*~*~*~

About two minutes before the bell was set to ring and start off their first period class Ellie walked into the Chemistry room and took a seat at one of the empty lab tables. She looked around to see who else was in her class so far and spotted Craig in the back corner who took notice of her seconds later. She expected that he would just quickly look away and pretend like he never saw her, the way he did earlier, but this time he kept staring. Before she knew it he got up with his books in his hands, walked over to her table, and took a seat in the stool next to her.

"Hey." He tried to hide his nervousness behind a casual upbeat voice.

"Hey? Really, you're just saying hey?." She said a little more bitterly then she meant to.

"Well, you didn't exactly give me a chance to say anything else."

Ellie rolled her eyes "Then what else did you have in mind, Craig?"

"How's it going?"

_How's it going? What, since you blew me off after we had sex and ignored me? Not much besides the fact that I found out that you impregnated me. _"I'm alright. Didn't think you would care since you have been ignoring me for the past month."

"Woah! Hold on a second there, El. You were the one avoiding me."

"Oh, please. You would walk right out of 'The Dot' every time you ran into me." Ellie scoffed.

"Don't say that you never did the same thing.I was going to call you, but I thought that you made it pretty clear that you didn't want to have anything to do with me"

"You could have _tried _calling."

"You could have too, but you didn't make any kind of effort either."

Ellie went to protest, but then realized that he was right. She did the exact same thing. And the guilt, as if she didn't have enough, piled up a little more for being so mad at him when she was just being hypocritical. "You're right, I-I'm sorry for that. Things were just so-"

"Awkward?" He finished her sentence.

"Yeah. Maybe I couldn't figure out how I am supposed to talk to you since that night." Her eyes lowered to look at her feet as she tried desperately not to look at him.

"I'm thinking that we should, though. Especially before-"

"Ashley gets back, I know." She took her turn guessing what he was going to say. "Look, Marco is coming back tonight and I said that I would hang out with him. How about I come over tomorrow and we can talk. I also have been meaning to drop something off for you anyway."

"Drop something off?" He suddenly smirked. "You get me a birthday present?"

"You're birthday is tomorrow? You never told me that."

"Again I say, you never gave me the chance, did you?" Craig teased.

_Damn it!_ She thought. They were back to this again. As soon as she thought she had gotten over it, he would say one thing the any other girl could pass over without a second thought, but she found herself blushing like a heartsick idiot. It wasn't like her to let the butterflies she got from a boy out of her stomach and into her face. Even when she was first starting to fall for Sean she was able to keep it cool and not show that he made any effect on her. But the guy sitting next to her knew just the right buttons to push with her and it was so infuriating that it was cute.

"Yeah, I get it." She chuckled lightly. Right then the bell rang and Ellie looked up to see that they were joined at the table by Alex, sitting down just in time.

"Hey guys." Alex said right before the teacher got up to speak to the class.

"Welcome students to grade 12 Chemistry class. I hope that you chose wisely with your seating arrangements because you will be sitting there for the rest of the semester. I am going to pass around a clip board and I would like you to sign your name in the place where you are sitting." he said holding up the clip board with six rectangles representing tables on a sheet of paper and set it down in front of Alex.

She grabbed the paper and said in Craig and Ellie's direction "This should fun."

_Fun indeed_ Ellie thought as overwhelming nerves buzzed in her body as the talk that she was so apprehensive about was in her near future.

~*~*~*~*~

Part two should follow by tomorrow. Reviews will get you there quicker!


	3. Full Time Friend pt2

A/N: Here is the second half to the second chapter as promised. It is a little shorter, but that's probably because it's mostly dialog, so pretty much just the same amount of stuff happens. Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

At four thirty the students of Degrassi were dismissed from their last period classes and Ellie went outside to find Spinner standing by the fences. Once he saw her approach him he smiled while saying "Hey, how was your first day?"

"Pretty much went as expected. You?"

"It was brutal, so you can say that it went as I expected too. You heading home?"

"No, Marco got back about an hour ago, so I was going to meet him at 'The Dot'."

Spinner's face fell in disappointment, but he tried to erase it before Ellie noticed. "Oh, that's cool. Tell him 'hi' for me, if he'll let you."

She caught on pretty easy with the tone of his voice, so she decided that she wasn't going to let him get away that easy. "You should come along. I think I can get Marco to sit down with you and once he sees how bad you feel about last year I am sure that we can get him to come around."

"Naw, dude. I don't think that's such a good idea."

"It couldn't hurt to try. You are going to need more people on your side this year." She put her hand on the side of his arm as reassurance.

"Sure, I guess. But if he flips then I bail, alright?"

"Okay, I can work with that." Just then Ellie's cell started to ring so she quickly went to pull it out of her back pocket and answered. "Hello? Hey Marco. Yeah, I am on my way now, give me five minutes. See you in a bit." she concluded the phone conversation and snapped her cell shut before returning it to her pocket. "Let's go." She ushered Spinner to start walking.

~*~*~*~*~*~

As soon as Ellie walked into 'The Dot' a bright smile appeared on her face when she saw Marco sitting at their usual table. It was nice to have something that she could be genuinely happy about again. She missed Marco so much over the summer that it felt like she had lost an arm. But now he was back and all she could do was give him a huge hug.

"God, I missed you." He said, so captivated in her embrace he didn't notice Spinner walk in behind her.

"Same here." She slipped out of his arms to take a look at the friend she had been away from for three months. "Wow, you look really good, Marco."

"And what about you, El? You look amazing! I don't know what it is, but you just look so different."

"Yeah, well I guess you could say that I am different." Ellie saw that she threw him a little saying that, so she just decided to change the subject and turned to see Spinner standing awkwardly beside the door as if he wanted to run. "I uhhh... I brought someone with me"

Marco looked toward the direction she was referring to and his face fell with further confusion and annoyance. "Hey El, you do know that we aren't talking to him, right?"

Ellie rolled her eyes as she went to sit down. "You might not be talking to him, but I am. Come and sit down Spin."

"Maybe I should just get going. I don't want to ruin your big reunion or anything."

"Just sit." She sharply yet calmly demanded and he did as she asked.

"Can you please tell me what this is about?" Marco sat across from the two of them as the curiosity grew over his voice.

"Spinner is here because I want him here. I also want the two of you to become friends again."

"Woah, where on earth did this come from? And since when did the two of you have anything in common?" He was now just trying to understand. He didn't really care who she suddenly chose to be friends with, he just wanted to know why.

"He's here..." She sighed and looked over at Spinner again. "...for support. Marco, I need to tell you about something that happened to me."

"Okay, now you are freakin' me out. What is it?" His face was struck hard with concern.

" I don't really know how to say this, and I know that you have a right to be freaked, but I need your help with this." Ellie wanted nothing to do, but to stall. And that thought definitely sounded 'd use the excuse that she wanted to avoid the after school rush of kids that should be here by now, but it seemed thin because when she looked around 'The Dot' still seemed a bit dead. Ellie took that as a sign that she should probably just get this over with. He was just the first of so many people that she had yet to tell. It was like ripping off the first of many band-aids."I'm pregnant." She took a big gulp and felt it being uncomfortably pushed down her throat and into the pit of her stomach.

"What? You can't be." The shock on his face was undeniable and she didn't know how to explain it further to him.

"But I am." She nodded. "I mean, I haven't had it confirmed by a doctor yet, but I think that you can tell that it's real when you've taken three tests and they all came out positive."

"I don't understand how this happened to you? Who did this?" He took a strong silent pause until he came to a conclusion and glared furiously at Spinner. "It was you, wasn't it?"

Before Marco could get a chance to tear his guts out Spinner put his hands in defense. "Dude, no. I didn't partake in anything leading to a baby. Like the girl said, I am here for support only."

"Then who?" He turned his attention back to Ellie, not fully convinced.

"It's Craig."

"As in Craig Manning? Your best friend's boyfriend? The one who broke Ash's heart with the same thing a year and a half ago? That Craig?"

"The same. And please don't lecture me on how immoral or irresponsible I am because I already understand all that. I just need your help." With the stress bubbling under the surface she went straight for the rubber band around her wrist and snapped at it.

Marco allowed himself to calm down before asking "Could you please explain to me then, how this happened? I thought you didn't even like Craig that much?"

"The only time I ever didn't like him was when Ashley didn't. Other than that we had a lot in common. And then we both got bored being alone all the time during the summer, so we started hanging out. After a while I just ended up falling for him."

"Your in love with him? You didn't tell me that." Spinner said taken aback. Marco looked just as stunned.

"Yes, no. I don't know. Uhh...I have no idea what to do." Ellie let her head fall down on the table in her frustration.

"Dude, that's rough."

"Have you told him yet?"

She looked back up at him again."About the baby or the fact that I feelings for him?"

"Both."

"Neither, but I plan on telling him about the baby tomorrow."

"Hey, do you guys want some sodas or something? I'm buying." Spinner said suddenly before getting up. He seemed to want to just make the moment a little easier for them.

"Yeah, thanks Spin." Marco said making Spinner smile as subtly as possible after hearing his voice being less aggressive towards him.

"So, you gonna lay off Spinner?"

"I guess, if you really need me to. But don't expect things to be all buddy-buddy between us. Why are you suddenly talking to him anyway?"

"Since he works at the pharmacy now he was there when I found out and was really nice about it. I see what his mistake last year did to him and he is genuinely remorseful."

"But Jimmy can't walk because of him. How can we ever forgive him for that?"

"Oh yeah, so Spin brought the gun and pulled the trigger on Jimmy and Rick." She scoffed. "Rick was the one who snapped and that was everyone who harassed him's fault. And was anyone supposed to know that he would shoot someone?"

"Yeah, but..."

"No but. Can you please just accept the fact that he is my friend? Please?" Ellie stared at him hard until he caved.

"I said I would, it's just a little weird." Marco hoped that that would be enough for her, so she decided to give him a break and stopped pressuring him about it. "Now can we get back to the original issue here? What are you planning on doing with the baby?"

"I considered getting rid of the problem all together for no longer than a minute, but then decided against it." She said as Spinner came back with the drinks, as if he still worked there, and took his seat next to Ellie again.

"So are you considering adoption then?" Spinner asked.

"I have pretty much decided on it. I just don't know how to go about finding some good parents."

"I might know of somebody." Marco said causing Ellie's eyes to widen.

"Really? Who?"

"Dylan and I befriended a couple at a pride benefit last year and I know that they are trying to adopt a kid. Their names are Justin and Andrew."

"What do they do?" Ellie suddenly lit up. She didn't think that she would have a couple just thrown on her lap like this, but it was surely a relief. At least she could get one thing figured out about this pregnancy.

"Justin is just starting starting out in photography and Andrew is some kind of Chef at a restaurant in the city."

"Can you give them a call and see if they are still looking? I would really like to talk to them."

Marco smiled. "Yeah, I am sure they will be thrilled. They have been looking for someone for like...years."

"Tell them I am willing to meet with them any time as long as it's not tomorrow. I figured since tomorrow is Craig's birthday we should maybe throw him a surprise party in Joey's garage or something."

"That dude is going to be getting one hell of a birthday present." joked Spinner.

"You got that right." Marco added.

*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: The next chapter will probably be posted up some time next week, so I can get ahead again in writing future chapters. Reviews are awesome!


	4. Monkey on Your Back pt1

A/N: Okay. First off I want to give thanks to the people who took the time to write me reviews. They help me so much in telling me what I am doing right and wrong, so that I can writes these chapters faster.

Second, the reason I have been getting these chapters out so quickly is because I already had them written out for the most part for a while now. Future chapters might be a little slower, but now that my schedule is freeing up a little bit I can get some more time to sit at my computer. As I have send in past stories, I do tend to procrastinate a bit, but I really like where I am going with this story, so that should help some. Also, I highly doubt that I am just going to drop this story like I have with a couple others. I have a definite ending, I have the big events mapped out, and I have a lot of little story line ideas as well. My other stories I just sort of came up with at the top of my head and started writing.

So, just remember to be patient when waiting for updates and know that I haven't forgot about it.

**Chapter Three**

**Monkey on your back pt 1**

Ellie had spent her whole day rehearsing lines through her head over and aver again, trying to find the perfect combination of words that end with 'I am pregnant'. At first she thought that it might be a little easier now that she had a some practice, but this was in no way like telling Marco. Being a writer, it was aggravating to be at a loss of what to say. Everything that came out of her mouth either sounded too abrupt or too controlling. Ellie figured that she was probably going to need to get someone's help on this because she was driving herself insane.

For a second she thought about asking for Manny for help. She had been in this situation before, and she also had to go through telling Craig about it. It actually seemed sort of tempting, but then she cam to her senses and decided that it wouldn't be a good idea at all since the two of them weren't exactly friends. A conversation between them would probably go worse then the one she was supposed to be having with Craig.

"So, did you get ahold of Joey?" Ellie asked Marco as she met up with him at his locker.

"Yes, and he said that he would be able to keep Craig busy with something while we set up his party in the garage."

Ellie let out a breath, not sure if it was out of relief or keeping herself distracted from realizing that it was just one step closer to where she dreaded going. "Good, that's good. Remember that I need help lifting that big old drum set to his place."

"Don't worry, I am not leaving you with all the heavy lifting in your condition." Marco opened his locker and shoved a few books into his backpack before returning his attention to Ellie. "So how are you planning on telling him?"

"One of my latest idea s was to tell him in a suicide note, but then I figured that since I would be dead there would be no point in him knowing, would there?" she mused sarcastically. "Or I could not tell Craig at all and say that I have just put on some extra weight."

Marco went and started walking for the exit of the school with Ellie trailing behind. "Craig isn't the brightest bulb in the tanning booth and yet I think that he wouldn't be fooled by that one." He watched as she sighed deeply and said "So, you have nothing?"

"Nope. For the first time not a word in my head sounds at all right." They had made their way outside and Ellie squinted as the bright sun burned her eyes. "God, the mixture of the heat, my condition, and my nerves are all making me feel like I am going to be sick."

"Then why don't we get you back home and you can lie down for a half an hour or something."

"But I need to stop at the party supplies shop."

"I can do it. You just need to go and take care of yourself."

"Thanks Marco." She squeezed his his arm lightly and rested her head on his shoulder for a short second. "I am really glad that you are back."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Craig really didn't feel that different now that he was eighteen today. Everyone keeps saying how big of a milestone it is and acted as if he should feel some big magical energy change that proved he was now an adult. He felt no such change. Heck, the slaps on the back and congratulations he got all day just served as a reminder when he couldn't even remember the date. And just like any other day, as soon as he came home, he went straight for the garage only to pick up his guitar and started jamming.

The only thing that could truly make this day any different was the conversation he was supposed to have with Ellie tonight. To be honest he was really nervous about where it was going to go. For the past month he had tried thinking about their night together, but to him it just seemed like a big bag of confused feelings, feelings that were difficult to sort out. As he looked back he remembered wanting her when they were alone together in her basement, yet all that time that they had hung out together he thought that the strong bond they developed was strictly platonic. He didn't have any feelings for her. He couldn't because he was already madly in love with Ashley, his _girlfriend_. It was just one drunken night that kicked their teenaged hormonal tendencies into overdrive and left them both sweaty and guilty.

He kept convincing himself of all of that, but there was just one little voice in the back of his head that constantly fed him the idea that maybe he was purposely holding himself and his feelings back because of...

"Hey Craig." He heard a female voice speak over his music and he spun around to see the very opposite person of to whom he was expecting.

"Ashley?" He said stunned until he finally lifted the guitar strap over his head and set the instrument on the ground. "I can't believe you're back!" he was surprised at how much he had to force the excitement into his voice, but wasn't paralyzed by it for he ran up and gave her a hug and a quick kiss on the lips.

"Hi, yeah I am back, but not for long." She replied awkwardly without returning any of his 'good to see you' gestures of affection and pulled herself away from his embrace.

"What do you mean, 'Not for long'?" He said as his face contorted in bemusement.

"Look, can we talk for a minute?"

"About what?" Craig suddenly grew worried that somehow Ashley had found out what he had done. She was just so serious without showing much happiness to see him and he could only think to one thing that could cause that.

Suddenly he was distracted when he saw Joey appear from behind Ashley. "Hey, Craig? Can you come in here and-" Joey started but was then taken aback upon seeing her stand there next to him. "Why if it isn't good ol' Ashley Kerwin! Sorry to break up the reunion, you two. When did you get back?" He said cheerily.

"Just a few hours ago actually." She said. "I didn't even really get a chance to tell anybody yet."

"Well, what a nice birthday surprise for you, Craig! That's really great that you could make it back in time.:

"Yeah, great." She said as believable as she could, but the false look in her eye told him that she had completely forgotten that it was his birthday.

Joey smiled up at Craig again and said "Okay, so after you two catch up can you come in and help me with a few things in the house?"

"Yeah, I won't be long."

"Thanks, man." And with that said he went back into the house leaving Ashley to walk fully into the garage and shut the door behind her.

"So, how was London?" Craig asked as he went to turn off his amp and neatly set his guitar back on it's stand.

"Great, really great. Amazing actually." He could hear the nervousness in her voice begin to build up.

"That's good to hear. I am glad that you enjoyed yourself there so much."

"I did, _so_ much. And how have you been?"

With the look she gave him he knew exactly what she was referring to. She was fishing to know about any crazy Craig episodes he might have had over the summer. The only thing that he could think was that whatever she wanted to talk about had to be bad if she was worried that he was going to flip out on her. "Good. I've been taking my meds on a regular basis and going to group therapy every week. Haven't really had any freak outs since the whole running away thing."

"Good. It's good that you are taking care of yourself."

"Okay, now that we both know that each other's summers were good, why don't you tell me what this whole 'Not for long' thing is about?" He didn't want to delay it any longer. He wanted to know right away what this was about and if he needed to go on his hands and knees with the huge apology or not. Craig knew that it had to be bad, no matter what it was, but he just didn't know if he could take it.

"I am going back to London to stay." Ashley sat down on the old couch in the middle of the room and looked at her hands wringing together. "I don't know how to tell you this, but I kind of... met someone."

"So that's what it was? You met someone?" His voice raised in shock. "What kind of someone?"

"His name is Allistor. I met him at my internship and I am going back there to be with him."

"I can't believe this! I knew that this would happen. I kept saying how you were going to fall for the first guy you see with a British accent and then dump me!" He slunked down into the opposite side of the couch as her with his palms digging into his head.

"Craig, I don't mean to dump you. It's just that things with us are so complicated and with Ali it isn't. I am really happy."

"I bet you're happy. How could you not be with such a simple minded boyfriend instead of an unstable and all around psycho Craig?"

"Come on, you know that isn't it at all!" She snapped back at him, but he just gave her a pressing stare that forced her to come clean with what she was really feeling. "Okay, maybe it was part of it. But I never called you a psycho!"

"Oh, well that is just so comforting." Craig got back up again and headed for the other side of the room and stared in the opposite direction. "Craig isn't crazy. You're just trading me in for somebody who doesn't have those nasty bi-polar episodes."

"No! You don't get it. All I am saying is that I don't think that I can be a good girlfriend to you. I can hardly take care of myself, let alone you!"

"Why do you always insist that I need to be taken care of!" He yelled. "I am better! Ask anyone! Joey, Angie, Jimmy, Ellie... even." The last name he mentioned Craig was surprised he let slip out. There was just something that hit him as he spoke her name out loud to Ashley that made him feel so criminal and deceitful. He felt like during this whole argument he wasn't the victim he was playing as. Once this thought occurred to him he turned around to look at her again and calmed down into a normal talking voice. "Even she can tell you that I am better."

"And I believe you, but I think that with you and I...our personalities just clash too much. It's too overwhelming, and intense, and we are both just so destructive when it comes to us being together. I really don't think that I can spend forever living like this."

Craig closed his eyes tightly, struggling with what he should say. He wanted to be close minded and stubborn and say that she was wrong, but he just couldn't do it anymore. This was just yet another argument and it was really getting to the point where it wasn't worth the struggle anymore. There is that saying that you have to take the good with the bad, but what happens when the bad greatly outweighs the good? "M-Maybe you right." He finally got himself to agree. "We never balanced each other out well."

Ashley stood up from the couch and walked over to him. "It's good that you see it that way. I am sorry for doing this to you on your birthday." She said before attempting to bring him into a hug. After a second of stiffening up Craig gave in to the awkward and brief embrace. "And know that I never intended on leaving for London and finding someone else. I wanted to come back and be with you, but things just happened that got me thinking. I still love you though. I probably always will."

"You too." He replied half heartedly. With the mood that he was currently in, he thought that it would be better if he tried not to show too much emotion at the moment. He thought that if he did he would get carried away and say something that he would definitely regret.

"Well, I should probably go. I have to have dinner with my family and then pack up the rest of the stuff that's in my room." She said, unsure if it was alright if she left just yet.

"Sure...yeah- I mean go ahead. I can imagine that you are really busy." Craig said before he turned back in the opposite direction and picked up his guitar again.

"So, are we okay?" Ashley tried to raise her voice over the music that was now being played.

He didn't bother to look back at her again when he said "We're fine. I'll talk to you sometime."

"Alright." She muttered, mainly just to herself, and took a moment before she could get the courage to head for the door and leave.

Ashley took a deep and sorrowful sigh as she walked out of his garage. She had almost felt a tear begin to well up in the corner of her eye, but she didn't allow herself to let it fall because she knew that all of this was for the best. I was just that even though being with Craig wasn't what she wanted anymore and she found someone that could really make her happy, Ashley couldn't help but reflect on how much he meant to her. He was a huge part of her life and a vast source of her inspiration. It was just so hard to give it up.

*~*~*~*~*

A/N:

Part two should be another week or two. Like I said, I haven't written it yet, but I will start on it tonight. Reviews are much appreciated!


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